What brought this on?
Well long time readers will remember that I have a tendency to go off the rails a little when the weather turns really cold. Not just colder but really cold. In the past that has moved me to think about selling out and moving west, an area where I lived for twenty years. That urge to sell and move isn't there this year.
It's something else and it's not just a spur of the moment thing.
It's actually something that started many years ago when I had this screaming voice inside me telling me I needed to write what was going through my mind, even in those dark periods I sometimes found myself in. Do 'the neighbors need to know though" ???
That old upbringing from growing up in the '60s where you kept everything private hit me up the side of the head. So in 2014 I chickened out and made that blog a private blog, where I could say anything I wanted and on any topic. I still write in it today. Keep that blog in mind during this story.
A few years later in one of my paranoid states of mind, I was sure that Blogger was going to screw me and my blog by either shutting it down, delete it or lock me out. So I made another private blog on Blogger as a backup and transferred every file and every photo from the Hounds and Other Stuff blog to that blog.
It didn't stop there.
During those times when I didn't feel like blogging publicly and even deleted that blog a few times, I was still blogging on my private blog about everything. Including photos of house problems, routine car maintenance, that tick on the back of my head that I could barely reach to remove it. You get the idea. It wasn't just about RVs and Hounds I was writing about privately.
There is actually some humor in that blog ... something I thought I was getting away from in the current public blog.
So there are THREE active blogs. In one of them I could be HONEST in those blogs, say anything that was on my mind, cuss if I wanted to or write down and publish privately my weirdest insane thoughts -- for my eyes only.
Why?
I never been like that in real life. I've always been opinionated as far back as high school while writing required essays but pissing off my English teacher by my opinions. That's a hard thing to get away with when your dad is a co-teacher of hers. Anyway that's a whole different story.
What I wanted to say was HONESTY. On this blog and on Hounds and Other Adventures blog I have tried to be too political correct, mild mannered, and even a little scared with "what would they think" if I wrote like that? I became too concerned about putting it all out there for all to read. I curled back into a corner of a recluse, trying to be private as possible. What fun is there in that.
I know for a fact I have quit reading blogs that were too boring. I've said a few times in the past that I felt the blog had become too boring, the photos were too boring and I'd stop writing for a while. I like to write. I like to ramble from my scrambled brain cells and put it down on paper. I also love taking photos of my hounds and catching their personalities. I can look at them years from now after they are gone, remembering what great hounds they were.
So for a long time when I would read a blog like I did this morning over at The Wild Heart of Life I use to tell myself "I wish I could write openly like that on my public blog." But no, I hid in the corner and wrote all the good stuff in private where no one was going to see it except me and those that get into my computer after I die.
Over the past two months I cannot tell you how many blogs I set up with a new email account tied just to that blog, with plans of breaking through to the other side as Jim Morrison sang once, where I would blog honestly and out in the open for all to read. I'd include those crazy and insane thoughts I have or those that might make you leave and never come back.
My problem is this ... my mind gets restless sometimes. This next photo is about the only way I can explain it.
It is not the first time I have mentioned my life seems to go from one extreme to the other, nothing in between. Just like many people I have mood swings, wild range of thoughts and ideas to the point that sometimes I seriously wonder what is wrong with me. Was I dropped as a young child and wasn't told about it? Did I get into my mother's meds as a young child but fail to remember it? Why do I feel that way?
Yet I've taken great pride at times knowing that most likely I am not "wired right", that I am really not like everyone else. You are talking to someone that use to be the 'life of the party'. For example during a night of drinking with co-workers in February 1989 I bet $100 they could not drop me from riding on top of a speeding rental van on Hwy 50 in Nevada. I hung onto the roof rails on each side. I was told the next day at work we were up to a 110mph. I would have never felt a thing if I had fallen off, plus I would have lost the bet.
I have enough stories like that to write a book. Friends have suggested for years that I do just that. Instead I will write about one or two of them on this blog in the future .. maybe three.
So where were we .... ah yes, a little different blog from now on.
You'll see how the hounds Heidi and Stella keep me in line, within the boundaries of sanity. The hounds past and present have always been my #1 priority.
Speaking of extremes, take this as an example. I eat a pretty healthy diet but there are times I have to fall off that wagon and have one of these 12" Stroms at Nick's in Bloomington Indiana. More than one bartender has told me that I am one of the few they have seen that can eat it all in one setting.
By the time I drive the 25 miles home, I am headed for a nice afternoon siesta.
There is a salad in back so that would make it healthy lunch, wouldn't it? My other weakness is a burger at 5Guys'. They are so good that I usually buy a regular size plus a 'junior' cheeseburger as my second sandwich. How could anyone resist those two sandwiches? I don't eat those often but when I do I have no doubt that my chlorestoral increases a short time afterward.
Those extremes have also played in where I live or have lived in the past. Why can't I be just normal and live a quiet conservative life, I ask myself sometimes. Well I have, on the blog called Hounds and Other Stuff.
I have gone from living in these two places ---
To here ---
See what I mean?
As usual before I can finish a long post that started with good intentions, I have lost my train of thought. I can't remember where I was in this post nor what I was going to say. Give me a second.
What was blog #4? In November 2017 I hopped over here on Wordpress and started a blog with an idea that I would spend less time on the computer and still furnish photos of the hounds. I did a one paragraph introduction and 7-10 photos. Nobody came and after a year I had one follower with better quality photos. That blog is now this blog. Get it??
Blog #5 I just started December 2nd as a way to put that screaming voice of mine on stage. That's what I'd do ... I'd write anonymously, under a different name ... THEN I could be honest, outspoken and write about the thoughts of a retiree in today's world. How chickenshit is that??
I know that I spend way too much time in front of this keyboard but it's not like I can go out and mow the lawn when it's 21° So what else can I do besides blog. That's what I wanted to say .... I want to go from FIVE blogs to ONE blog !!!!!
I know you will not be the only one shocked at the changes, so will the hounds.
Will I talk about politics, the news or what I think of each? About all I can say right now is this ---
Yes ... I might toss out an opinion here and there about what's going on in the world today. For example I see both sides of the argument about immigration but one thing that irritates the hell out of me is the fact that 70% of illegal immigrants are living on welfare payments paid for by you and me.
As far as my thoughts about the world "going to hell in a hand basket" .... check this book out from your local library. You'll feel better after you read it and understand this isn't the first time we as people have screwed up mother earth, but it might be our last time.
In the meantime while I gather my thoughts for future blog posts ideas .... I suggest you kick back and follow the rules of any basset hound worldwide. Relax and look forward to more honesty in my writing, even some humor and discover a demented mind. :)
Because that is exactly the plan that Heidi and Stella have with these blog changes.
Because really in the end, even with all the crap going on in the world today ... each of us just wants to be happy. Here is a good start for that but I find a few of those are really hard to make the change. I'm trying my best.
I guess I got to the point of just not caring anymore what people may think of my blog writing. Not that I want to you to feel sorry for me because believe me I KNOW many people have had it worse or HAVE it worse than I do today ... but December is a month that my mom, whom I wasn't close to, died in December 2015, my all-time favorite basset hound Winston was put down less than a month later in January 2016.
Due to my relationship with the family I have left (brother and sister) I had to find out in March of 2018 that my dad, whom I loved very much, had died. Due to our 8 year estranged relationship I found that out in the local newspaper after the fact. Then this past September I lost my bloodhound Sadie which I still am trying to get over the pain of it.
So basically in a way I just don't care what responses my posts may get anymore. I'll write for me, I'll write what I want in a way I want and be like some of the other bloggers I follow that have the guts to lay it out on the line no matter what.
A friend of mind told me this a few hours ago when I broke the story to him.
"Writing openly is not "for others" but only for "ourselves". Personally it is my therapy ... and the bottom line is who gives a shit what others might think??? If you feel the slightest bit, the "you" will feel better, just do it and be proud and content with it ... Traffic does not matter ... what matters is "you" not me, not the readers but again "just you" as we are just passing through this life and trying the best we can."
With that I will close but I will tell you I do feel better with this announcement even a little excited again about blogging. At least it's another great day here in 'the tropics' of Southern Indiana.
