They come and go unexplained, the mood swings. At least now I can recognized them and hop on for the ride. They don't last long (24-36hrs) and they are not caused by the amount of sleep I get or lack of. The hounds don't upset me to start down that path. TV news isn't watched but I'd love to use that as an excuse. Food? Diet? ... maybe.
So how can one live alone, non social, active mentally and at times physically, go off the rails?
Many years ago I'd be mad the next morning after any one of my teams had lost a basketball game, a baseball game or football. Not anymore as I view it just as a game and I don't have anything to do with the outcome sitting on the couch 8' away. The players have to decide how bad they want to win and performance is key. So ballgame results are not a reason either.
I blame my mother. She was just like this. She could be Mother Theresa one minute and by the afternoon she was Bobby Knight for no apparent reason. For those that don't know who Bobby is, google his name. She fought her disease with pharmaceutical, prescribed meds, and in a way that even made things worse. Let's just say I learned my anger issues from one of the best teachers of all time.
I was never into that prescribed meds thing. Even after my car wreck in March 2010. I left the emergency room that night (6pm) with a had full of prescriptions for more meds than I ever wanted and never asked for ... I had my chance to jump on the opioid addiction train. I had all the famous names right there in my hand and didn't take one of them.
Over the years I have tried many things to combat mood swings and honestly, no matter what the 'experts' say or recommend ... they don't work. This 'thing' is buried deep in the DNA files and just going out running for 20 minutes, riding a bike for an hour or even meditating for 20 minutes twice per day ... they might take the edge off but they don't squash naturally born mood swings.
You probably could tell something was wrong after you read the last two or three posts I had written or through the comment section where I replied. Internally I had declared war on everybody, everything and even the electronics that only sit here. I was on the out of control train and no way to stop it.
No, self talk does not help either.
I had solid sleep last night, the normal 5-6 hours worth. By the time I had made coffee this morning I could tell the 'mental war' was over. I felt great and already knew what my plans were for the day.
In a few minutes, Stella and I will take our daily morning walk in 19° weather. Then something different after that. Instead of downloading photos, editing them and putting a blog post together, the hounds and I are climbing in the Mini for a tour around the local area with cameras (Canon & Nikon) in hand. We are going for a ride and will hopefully grab some nice pictures to blog about later.
Sorry for the lack of pictures tucked in neatly between paragraphs but I thought this type of post should be only words that were quick and easy to read. I'm only adding a feature image so the columns on my blog front page line up right.
Believe me, it's much better this morning in 'the tropics' of Southern Indiana.