December 18, 2018
Dieting Is A Pain In The Ass
I've tried Paleo, Mediterranean, Keto, Vegan, Lacto-Vegetarian, Blood-Type Diets along with my own by adding some 'personal modifications' to those just mentioned.
I was in utter shock when I found out that any blend of Ben&Jerry's ice cream wasn't included. That is almost UN-American !!!!!! I LOVE ice cream and especially Ben&Jerry's. Cost of it be damned!!! Can't I even have two scoops a week?? I can't do a scoop for any length of time because the word "scoop" is not in my vocabulary ... "whole container" is right at the top, under The 10 Best Ways To Eat Ice Cream.
Stella had the run of the house and was sound to sleep on the couch with Heidi when I left. While I was gone she must have smelled food on the plate sitting on the counter waiting to be washed. By the time I got home that plate and it's co-plate were on the floor ... the 2nd plate was smashed into 4 large broken pieces. I guess that was Stella's way of telling me JUNK FOOD IS NOT ALLOWED!!!!
Just because you pat yourself on the back for a job well done after eating only 2 measured cups of this, that doesn't mean the game is over and you will be awarded. Hell no!!! NOT EVEN CLOSE !!!!
Those regular size soup bowls that come with any cheap set of dishes just doesn't hold a lot of bean soup, if you know what I mean. So I had a BIG choice .... a LOT of those 2 cup bowls or serve it in a bigger bowl and make fewer trips from the football games on tv to the kitchen. Guess who won? Not the game ... which size of bowl.
Within 48 hours of the first bean coming out of that crocpot .... that stuff was GONE !!!!
My goal was to complete all the 160 games in under 3 minutes each. I admit I was out of shape when I started but like any kind of exercise you have to start out slow and build up your speed and endurance. It wasn't long before I cut my time in half, sometimes more. Currently I have only a few games left over 3 minutes completion time and I HAVEN'T LOST A DAMN POUND OF WEIGHT !!!!!
At the same time I read that for 'old' people hand and eye coordination is something that needs to be practiced. No better way than with your index finger on your laptop touchpad, moving fast to match two tiles and make them disappear. You would think if I sat at the table playing this game literally for hours ... the fat would just burn off of my body !!
So this chart had me focusing on how I need to shop for groceries. The fat in Pale scared me with my family history of cardiac arrest, sometimes not having the best results. So I went Vegan for a while until I got tired of feeling lethargic all the time.
Whidbey Island might get a dusting of snow sometimes but no more than MAYBE an 1" at the most. I found this out in my research in 1984, when trying to decide if I wanted to move from the beach in Carlsbad CA, to the rock beaches of Oak Harbor, WA.
So how do you end up talking to a judge in a court of law?? With a lawyer, hired by you? Well what started off as a good Samaritan act in the neighborhood ... by blowing snow off sidewalks with high speed snowmobiles, turned into large quantities of Wild Turkey being consumed because it was cold out there in that freezing weather ... we needed something to warm up.
Of course you always come up with the best ideas when you are drinking ... especially that stuff in the picture. Oh yes .... we were about to become famous ... really famous.
Not only did we have smaller bottles of this under our North Face down parkas but we were also riding these snowmobiles all over Island County back roads, and AT TIMES crossing the major north south highway ... Hwy 20. I admit there were times that we might have been airborne with the snowmobile. It did feel like we were flying a few times.
Things were going pretty good. We were safe, drunk, cold and happy. Things turned exciting really quick. I mean really really quick ... just about the time all four of us on four different snowmobiles FLEW by this white car ... If I wasn't going so fast I might have recognized him as a Oak Harbor Police car .... he put on those bright flashing red and blue lights you hear other people talking about sometimes ... sometimes.
When you are doing over 70mph on those snow machines you tend to get way ahead of the chasing police car. WAY AHEAD .... but we were considerate and knew we were busted. All four of us stopped, turned our machines off, put the Turkey away and waited .... and waited ... while watching these red and blue lights along with headlights slide all over the highway from side to side ... to catch up to us.
He did thank us for waiting for him, asked us what brand name of machine we were riding. (We did not know that was for ticket purposes) That was as far as his amusement went. In the end it was an even trade off ... we keep the machines to ride back home (escorted) in trade for a ticket for speeding .... and numerous other violations.
All of us paid for that decision .... I am not sure with around 30 years of inflation, what our fines, court costs and lawyer fees would be in today's money. I do remember clearly eating a LOT of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches after that for a LONG TIME. Not just for lunch either.DeAngelo's Pizza in Bloomington.Mother Bear's in Bloomington. Even the smaller size of pizza, and fewer slices still puts on the pounds fast as well as sending your carbs goal for the day out of this world.
I'm not that stupid though. I know the answer. I know the correct portion size I should have, the discipline it takes, and I know that I can't lose weight playing hours of Mahjong.